A Beautiful Mind

Thriving In An Entirely New Life

By

Ester Nicholson

In The Last Couple Of Years, I’ve Found Myself Re-Committing To A Kind Of “Spiritual Boot Camp.” I Periodically Need To Do This-Perhaps Due To My History With Dependence. I Make A Decision To Anchor Myself Deeper In Spiritual Principle Whenever I Realize That I Am Off Center And That I Have Allowed The “Illusions Of Powerlessness And Fear” To Reenter My Heart And Mind.

I Had Found Myself More-And-More Basing My Security On People And Conditions. Of Course, People And Conditions Are Important, But They Also Are Temporal. They Change Up On You All The Time. Organizations That H Ad Contracted Me To Speak Were Canceling On Me Left And Right, Because Of The Appearance Of “Slow Economy.” The Nest Egg I Had Set Aside Was Diminishing By The Day, And The Answer To Every Inquiry I Made About Getting Booked As A Speaker Or Singer, Seemed To Be, “No, We Don’t Have The Budget Right Now.”

Boy Was I Attached.

Needless To Say, I Forgot All About The Infinite Nature Of God. I Was FREAKING OUT, And Then FREAKING OUT About Being Freaked Out! Here I Am A Spiritual Therapist, For Goodness Sake! I’m Not Supposed To Get Freaked Out If I’m Anchored In Trust And In A Trustworthy God, Right? Well, Here Was A Rich And Wonderful Opportunity To Show Me Just How Much I Really Did Trust God-And, Let Me Tell You, It Was Not Looking Too Good.

One Evening After A Particularly Bad Day, When Everywhere I Called, No One Answered-Or When They Did, The Answer Again Was, “No Or Not Right Now,” I Sat In The Middle Of My Floor And Made A Decision. The Decision Was: “NO MORE.”

I Needed To Get Back To Basics.

I Would Not Live In Fear, And I Would Not Allow The Illusion Of Lack And Limitation To Run My Life For ONE MORE MINUTE. I Would Not Place My Faith Or My Security In “Man With Breath In His Nostrils” Or In Worldly Conditions. I Was Not Even Going To Place My Faith In My Own Thinking Right Then, Because It Was Pretty Clear That My Thinking Needed A Major Tune Up.

The Song (By Rickie Byars-Beckwith And Rev. Michael Beckwith) “I Release” Took On A Whole New Meaning For Me In That Moment-A Meaning That Had Escaped Me For The Eighteen Years I Had Been Listening To It. Finally, I Surrendered To My Root Practice Of Releasing And Letting Go Of Everything I Thought I Knew, Wanted Or Needed.

I Remembered That All I Needed To Do Was To Reconnect On A Higher Level Than I’d Ever Experienced Before With God. I Needed To Go Deeper. I Refused To Make One More Phone Call Or Send Out One More Email, Until I Was Fully Grounded In An Awareness Of One Power, One Presence And One Life-And That ALL Of My Good Was Contained Therein.

Was It Hard? Well, Yeah! At Least From My Ego Perspective: “If I Surrender Totally To God, Am I Gonna Get My Stuff? Am I Gonna Get What I Need If I Surrender?” Well, I Certainly Had Nothing To Lose, Because Doing It My Way Wasn’t Getting Me Anywhere!

So, I Committed To 40 Days Of Prayer/Meditation/Journaling And Turning Away From Every Appearance Of Struggle, Lack And Limitation-With The Understanding That, In God Or Universal Presence, There Is No Such Thing As Struggle, Sickness, Lack Or Hardship. There Is Only GOOD! I Picked 40 Days Because It Sounded Biblical Enough To Convince Myself.

Every Time I’d Start To Feel Fear Or Doubt, I Would Consciously And Resolutely Turn Away From It, Saying To The Illusion: “You Are NOT Real. You Are An Illusion Trying To Pull My Attention Away From That Which IS Real. You’re Trying To Keep Me Stuck In An Old Worn-Out Way Of Thinking. NO, You Cannot Have Me!”

And Then I Would Spend Time In Quiet Prayer Until I Was Re-Centered.

It Kind Of Reminds Me Of The Movie “A Beautiful Mind,” Where Russell Crowe Was Suffering From Schizophrenia. He Had Created, Out Of His Illness, A Best Friend From College, And His Best Friend’s Niece (Who Was A 7 Year Old Girl) And A CIA Agent That Made Him Believe He Was On A Secret Spy Mission. This Illusion Wreaked Absolute Havoc In His Life. He Lost His Job And Almost Lost His Wife And Child. But Mostly, He Lost His Mind To A Belief In Something That Was Not Real.

Sound Familiar?

His Turning Point Came When He Almost Drowned His Own Baby, Because The Illusions He Suffered From Directed Him To Do So. That Was The Last Straw For His Wife. She Put The Baby In The Car And Attempted To Drive Away. He Jumped In Front Of The Car When He Realized That, “The Little Girl Never Gets Any Older. She’s Been Seven Years Old For 10 Years.”

It Had Finally Clicked For Him That His Imaginary Companions Were Not Real, And That He Had Been Basing His Life On Illusion Instead Of Reality.

Isn’t That True For Many Of Us?

Isn’t It Strange That We Choose To React From A Belief In Fear, Doubt And Uncertainty, Rather Than Living Our Lives From A Place Of Wholeness, Love, Harmony And Peace? In The Movie, Russell Crowe Made A Decision To Heal Himself By Not Taking More Medication, And-Here’s The Brilliant Part-By Acknowledging The Illusions When They Arose, But Not Giving Them Any Power. One Of The Last Times You See His Unreal Companions In The Movie, He Bends Down To Kiss The Little Girl On The Cheek Saying To Her, “I Will Miss You, But I Will Never Speak To You Again.” It Was His Conscious Choice To Turn Away From The Illusion When It Cropped Up-Keeping His Attention On What Was Real. And The More He Did So, The More The Illusions Faded Away.

He Not Only Started To Live A Normal Life, He Started To Thrive In An Entirely New Life. We All Have A Golden Opportunity In This Moment-Right Now-To Turn Away From The Illusions Of Fear, Doubt And Uncertainty. They Are Not Our Friends And They Mean Us No Good. Of Course, You Must Acknowledge Them When They Crop Up, But I Suggest That You Refuse To Hang Out With Them Anymore. Refuse To Negotiate With That Which Is Not Real, And Reclaim Your Divine Inheritance As An Expression Of The Fullness Of Joy.

When We Do This, Our Illusions Begin To Fade And We Can Truly Say:

“Wow, Life Really Is Good. I Don’t Have An Erratic, Crazy Mind Running The Show Anymore.

I Have A Beautiful Mind: The Mind Of God-That Governs My Life Perfectly, Prosperously And Joyously.”

Here’s To Beautiful Minds – Yours And Mine!

About The Author

Ester Nicholson, Renowned Vocalist For Bette Midler And Rod Stewart, Former Addict, Teacher, Speaker And Author Uses Her Astonishing Story And Breakthrough Process As The Core Of Her Powerful Book: Soul Recovery—12 Keys To Healing Addiction And 12 Steps For The Rest Of Us (Hay House). Ester’s Work Has Revolutionized The Treatment Of Dependence By Embracing An Expanded Definition Of Addiction And An Alternative Approach Towards Healing Common Issues That Are At The Root Of Dependence And Dependence-Related Conditions.